


Your Amazing Grace

by ellerkay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon charcter death, Gen, Pregnancy, Psychic Bond, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerkay/pseuds/ellerkay
Summary: An exploration of Kelly's experience being pregnant with Jack.





	Your Amazing Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Swan Song Bingo, Kelly Kline square (season 12). Title from Louden Swain's song "Amazing."
> 
> I got really curious about Kelly's unique pregnancy, thanks to the few tantalizing lines we get about it from her (and from Jack). It sounded so fascinating, I wanted to explore what it might have been like.

Kelly was at her lowest moment, blood dripping into the tub, crying as she apologized to her unborn son. She closed her eyes and felt death come.

Suddenly a wave of grace washed over her and she was thrown back into consciousness and life. She gasped aloud, her eyes forced open by the feeling of love and peace that filled her heart. She watched in amazement as the cuts on her arm healed and the feeling of weakness from blood loss vanished.

The water was still warm, but Kelly climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in her robe. She sat on the bed, shaking from excitement and from anguish at what she’d tried to do. But not from fear. She would never tremble in fear of her child again.

He didn’t speak in words; not exactly. She could feel emotion from him – his eagerness to be born, to do good. Sometimes there were visions; images shot through with his newness and his love. When Castiel touched her stomach, Kelly felt her son take the angel’s measure in an instant and trust him completely. Without being told, she knew that she should follow Castiel to the gate of Heaven. That there was nothing to be afraid of. That Castiel would protect her boy.

Jack, she decided, not long after. Her son’s name would be Jack.

As the weeks went by, Kelly found herself becoming closer and closer to Jack. She shared as much as she could with him about life: both its joys and its dangers. She knew there would be many who would come after him – angels, demons, humans. She prepared him as best she could, heart breaking all the while with the knowledge that she wouldn’t be there to protect him.

But she tried to spend just as much time showing him what was wonderful about the world. She wanted him to know how beautiful it could be. She walked in the woods near the little cabin where Castiel had brought them and let Jack see the majesty of nature through her eyes. She found pictures online of her favorite works of art and told him how much better it would be when he saw them in person someday. She read him stories. She put on headphones and they lay listening to music together for hours and hours. Jack soaked it all in and asked for more.

Kelly didn’t know how much Jack would remember after he was born. She didn’t know everything about him; there were some thoughts and plans which he kept private. It hurt a little, but she understood. She had private thoughts, too. Parents and children shouldn’t know _everything_ about each other. She was lucky beyond measure to be nearly one with his mind the way other women could be one only with their baby’s bodies. She was lucky to get to know Jack a little before his birth the way she would never be able to know him as he grew. He filled her with joy.

As her due date approached, Jack grew distracted and withdrew a little. Kelly soothed him as best she could, but didn’t try to push their connection. She could tell he was gathering his strength and trying to prepare himself to be born. She didn’t want to make things for difficult for him. Instead, she recorded a message for him to watch when he was older. It would be something for him to remember her by, no matter how much he recalled of their conversations once he was born.

Giving birth was the most painful and the most amazing thing Kelly had ever done. She could hardly feel Jack in her mind anymore, busy as they both were. She was deeply grateful for Castiel’s presence and for his reminders of all the baby would do. Mary helped too. Still, Kelly felt alone. She’d grown so used to her link with Jack.

In the final moment, Kelly’s mind and vision flooded with light. She gasped as the pain vanished and she felt her son’s grace fill her, making them one for the last time.

“I love you,” she cried. As she passed on, she felt exulted, the highest she had ever been: gifting the world to Jack, and Jack to the world.


End file.
